When a person is down...

There are times when a person is down. I may potray a very strong front in front others, but there are times like now that I also cannot take the lonliness and felt really helpless too...

Pictures are served to be good memories, but to me, it just further put more pain onto my heart. Days seem to pass very very slowly. What seemed like a relatively short time seems like eternity to me.

Friends may be around, but what I need is still baby...I'm missing him so so much that it hurts... But when the sun is up, I'll have to hide this weak side of me and continue my battle with yet another day....

I'm not superwoman, I cry too...

Waiting is a tortourous process

IT's already the second month of year 2008, and its also the 6th day without baby by my side. Everyday I had beed counting down, counting down to the day when I'll be able to jump onto my baby again....I really tried very hard not to be affected by this, not to let my emotions come over the reality, but it's really tough at times.

Initially, I thought it will be easy if I just concentrate on my work. But this 6 days, my production is so so low.... I can't seem to be bable to find back the enthusiasm in work. Everyday I just return with average 2 subs. It's really bad, cuz it affected my income also. I really need to buck up.

Maybe the reason why I'm so affected is not only I'm missing baby, but also I'm scared. I'm scared that this short term separation will weaken our relationship and will affect us...I do agree with friends for saying that this separation may be a test to our relationship and may even make it stronger, but I still can't help but to worry. Maybe it's because I love baby too much that I really don't want to lose him....

I pray hard everyday that baby will return soon so that all these worrying will be stop and things will be like last time for us...Really really praying very very hard....